My wife says to me after signing up for a couples massage "it will be nice to get a massage from a guy that won't get a hard-on and try to have sex with me" Great. IMV.

I am vexed that she waited until after we had sex to tell me she had an std. IMV.

Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that my boss was impressed with me and my work. She told me she was impressed with me as well--until I took my pants off. IMV.

I'm alone in an unfamiliar town, so I decided to get some sushi from a local restaurant. The only seat available was at the bar right next to two guys kissing. They both turned and looked at me. One of them winked. I'm now at Taco Bell writing this vex. IMV.

I'm a bit creeped out right now by the old lady sitting next to me in the waiting rom who just had a 20 minute conversation...WITH HER DOG! Oh good grief. IMV.

Why do restaurants use the worlds thinnest toilet paper? I rushed to the restroom only to find thin tissue paper that feels like sand paper. As I wiped, two fingers plunged through the paper right into my chocolate starfish. Now, I have poop on my fingers and on my Blackberry. IMV.

While walking past some cubicles in the office I overheard two co-workers who sit about 20 feet a part talking to each other...ON SPEAKER PHONE. God help me. IMV.

It should be illegal for illegal aliens to gain entry into the United States. What do we do about it? We punish the only sheriff trying to handle the problems at the border. IMV.

I am vexed to say that my girlfriend turned out to be my cousin. IMV.

I'm vexed that the only things our society cares about anymore involve celebrities and scandals. Look, leave friggin Tiger Woods alone. I'm sick of hearing about it. IMV.

My boyfriend of 4 years really vexes me. Today, he went down on one knee and said how much he loved me. I've been waiting for this moment for the past 2+ years. He then stood up laughing and said "I'm joking baby. You know we aren't ready for this yet" He now has my handprint in his face. IMV.

I'm vexed by the shady creatures that limp around my neighborhood. I just watched 13 people pour out the front door of a 2 bedroom, 2 bath home. What are 13 twenty-somethings doing in a house at 11:30 AM on a Wednesday? I don't really want to stick around to find out. IMV.

I'm vexed that my boss decided to fire me using Facebook. The worst part: he told my friend who told me. IMV.

I'm vexed by 8-year old students. I work for a national bank and was asked to come speak to some 2nd grade students about the importance of saving money. One of the comments on a "thank-you" note said "I hope you enjoyed the bailout" I guess he has a point. IMV.

I'm vexed by neighbors that won't pick-up their dog poop. It is not my job to have to remind you. IMV.

I love how nobody is willing to jump in and help with the dirty work yet everyone is willing to offer their opinions on the matter and tell you the best way to get it done. IMV.

I just love how my HOA collection company was bought out by another company and didn't bother to tell anyone. I had auto bill pay with them which apparantly stopped 4 months ago. I was politely notified I owe 5 months of HOA dues via a nasty gram. Thanks. IMV.

I'm vexed by people who leave mustard and mayo packets on the ground in a parking lot. We pulled in and ran over one accidentally spraying mayo all over the car next to us. Being nice we take the time to clean it all off the other car. We'd hope someone would do the same for us. When we go out to our car this morning there is mustard plastered all over the back out it. Its been there a while too baking in the sun so its nice and crusty at this point. WTF? Is karma playing a joke? IMV.

I'm vexed that the Green Bay Packers cannot find a way to beat the Minnesota Vikings. IMV.

While on my way to work this morning, some old guy ran a red light and just about caused a major accident. I slammed on the breaks and spilled coffee all over myself. IMV.